Razorbacks, the AFLAC duck, and whatever Iago was

‘Tis a good feeling to know that I’m making a difference in this world. Here’s a message from a good ol’ Arkansan friend:

“Hey man, hope you’re having fun in the big city.

I’m sending you this picture because you seem to be a connoisseur of bad visuals.

It appeared in a flash ad on Yahoo, trying to lure me into attending Razorback basketball games.

But instead I was just scared by the accusatory guy with an angelic glow.”

He’s a good writer, isn’t he?

Just so you know, I’m not claiming to be Superman or anything…but you’re welcome. You’re welcome for making the world a better place—a more beautiful place…perhaps even a SAFER place.

Ooooh my, the Arkansas Razorbacks. Why do Arkansans care about this team? While we’re on the the subject of animals that make me want to punch through glass, let’s talk about Gilbert Gottfried (the former AFLAC guy).

You should be ashamed of yourself—not only for your repulsive voice, not only for agreeing to do the AFLAC commercials, not only for getting fired from AFLAC (loser), but you should be ashamed of having the comical depth of a teenage boy. “Haha” yeah, we all get it…the balls and the bottle are supposed to be phallic. Wow, the sexual subtleties of Gilbert Gottfried are so cunning. Shall I demonstrate that a group of college kids had the same idea several years ago?

Think about that for a second, Mr. 56 year old: a group of teens and early 20’s had the same joke…first. How embarrassing this must be for you.

Alright, perhaps I’m not maintaining my composure as I did with my last entry on Ray William Johnson, but that guy never made fun of the victims of the tsunami in Japan, a woman who was molested by her father, or 9/11 victims (not to my knowledge, at least). I wish ol’ Gilbert would do us all a favor and end up like his character, Iago, from Aladdin—crammed in a tiny lamp and buried in the Arabian desert.

The typography on the book is so grotesque, even Comic Sans would look away in terror (no pun intended, designers).

Gilbert Gottfried is sitting little a little boy in Indian Style. Sorry, I believe the politically correct term is now “criss-cross-applesauce”. It’s okay though, I’m like 1/64 Cherokee so I say “Indian Style”.

His clothes and hair look…well…dreadful. No self respecting 56 year old man should ever dress that way. This is just tacky design. I can understand giving a low-class guy a low-class cover for his book but as I discussed in my last entry, there is a difference between inexpensive and cheap.

Please don’t think less of me, but well done phallic humor can be funny. I think it’s deeply embedded within the DNA of a man (don’t quote my biology on that). Ranging from Homer, the ancient Greek poet, all the way to Disney—phallic humor is out there (that may have been an inappropriate choice of words).

When it’s representative of a struggle for alpha status, it’s stinkin’ hilarious. However, I think it goes without saying that we’ve reached well beyond Gilbert Gottfried’s intellectual grasp. Like any comedian who tries to compensate for his lack of intelligence—he simply goes for shock factor.


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Filed under Art, Branding, Critique, Graphic Design, Typography

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